On the last train home from Edinburgh on Saturday night (i.e. it’s always full of drunks), overheard a conversation between a middle-aged man and woman. They were evidently friends who’d gone to a speed dating event together, and were discussing what they wanted from a relationship. Despite being a short, balding guy with a beer belly and not particularly good looking, the man thought he was God’s gift to women; he didn’t need any chat-up lines, women would chat him up because he was such a good catch, and he had a big house. The woman was trying to talk a bit of sense into him.
He came out with this brilliant philosophical line:
"Ah suppose what I’m looking for in life is just to get rat-arsed."